Orgasms can be a so very odd when one is in chastity. Not just in play but living in it continuously.  Though my chastity experiences are ramping up, chastity is not overly new to me. But, I am still learning a great deal. Mostly my experience prior to Locks has been lock and forget and self management in the process.  This has taught me a great deal in regards to fit, and over all management of care and what not. The longest I’ve gone without an orgasm is close to three months. When that happened it wasn’t with someone who was actually interested in being a true keyholder, and so not capable of being a Domme in anyway, no matter how I tried to talk her into it. So, I can really relate to so many men out there that want so much more but cannot have it for so many various different reasons.  At this point, I am blessed (or cursed..) with finding someone who wants what i want.  But i digress.. Orgasms..

So, prior to Locks, even though I was in chastity, it was self chastity for the most part and overall I could choose when I had an orgasm.  And to be honest I can still have one on my own if I really truly wanted, but I don’t.  No cage prevents all orgasms. The Wand is a magical thing. Most of our t&d/edging happens with me in my cage. So we both know that I could if I really wanted to… well… I actually really want to most of the time but I’m not going to cause I can give that level of pleasure for myself to someone else.  Over the past year or so I’ve learned a lot in this regard.

So, all of that said, one thing I’ve learned about orgasms… seemingly despite without regard to the length of time denied, over a week, for the most part that first orgasm generally is not all that great. It feels good but in a lot of ways it is unfulfilling. which seems so counterintuitive. One would think that first orgasm would be so mind blowing but, for me, it’s not. In a lot of ways, ending that period is kind of a mind fuck. I want to cum but at the same time I don’t, because starting over also sucks. I want it to be longer and harder (not that kind of pun intended.) Want to know what about really feels amazing??

The second orgasm, if that happens. it’s the second orgasm after a release that is the best. I’m no longer fighting the desire to continue a denial period. The second one, I can give into and just truly enjoy without guilt, cause what’s done is done at that point. The guilt from the first one is about wanting to give more. To give more of myself, to “suffer” more in a sense… It is all still very confusing and difficult to properly put into words. Part of is that, yes I do want to cum, yet I so want to do more for you… But, does it really matter what I want, should it matter or shouldn’t it… Still figuring that all out.

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